Demetris Christofias

Lawrence Jackson / Official White House photo

Dimitris Christofias Sings the Hits of Yesteryear

1950’s crooner and Republic of Cyprus President Dimitris Christofias will be appearing for 60 nights only at the Goldrush! Riverboat Casino beginning June 12th, performing the songs that made your heart melt. Or possibly your parents’ hearts.

Remember the late 50’s singles “Please Let Me Cross Your Green Line”? Or “Baby, I Don’t Want To Taste Your Turkish Delight”? No? Well, in that case, you’re in for a once-in-a-lifetime treat. Dimitris “The Eclipse” Christofias made the ladies swoon with his 1956 album “Let’s Have an Enosis Tonight,” and like a fine wine, he has only become more alluring and intoxicating with age.

Fortunately, and unlike a fine wine, he has not become more expensive with age. There is never a cover charge at the Goldrush! Riverboat Casino, and it is never a bad time to warm yourself by the smoldering sexual fire that is Dimitris. Dimitris will be performing at the Goldrush! nightly all summer, so don’t miss this chance to expose yourself to the blinding charisma that allowed Dimitris to become one of only three elected communists in the world. Don’t look too close, though: The Eclipse will burn your retinas.