If you love ogling governors, then you have come to the right place! If you don’t love ogling governors, then you have made a terrible mistake. Either way, here is our list of the Top 20 Hottest Governors in the United States. (Thanks to Jennie A. for the suggestion!)
I hope you enjoy it, and who knows—maybe you’ll even learn something! Like the name of your state’s governor.
Note: To maximize suspense, governors are listed in order of increasing hotness. But hey, don’t just skip straight to the bottom to see who’s the hottest. That’s no way to live your life!
20. Andrew Cuomo (New York)
Andrew Cuomo is already bored of governing the state of New York. Here he is trying to escape in a canoe!
19. Gary Herbert (Utah)
Believe it or not, one of the perks of being the Governor of Utah is getting to live inside the dome of the Utah State Capitol.
At least that’s what Gary Herbert told everyone when he showed up one day with a hammock and all of his stuff.
18. Dan Malloy (Connecticut)
Every night for years, Connecticut Governor Dan Malloy’s wife would ask him, “Why don’t you ever take that green necktie off? Even when you sleep, or shower? Will your head fall off or something?”
Finally Dan said, “Yes, Pam, my head will fall off. I lost a bet with a leprechaun and now I have to wear this green tie or my head will fall off. OK? Will you please get off my back about it?”
Pam swirled her wine and gazed out the window into the featureless night. “Well, it’s an ugly tie.”
17. Mike Pence (Indiana)
“Prepare to be double karate-chopped by Indiana governor Mike Pence!”
16. Greg Abbott (Texas)
Say what you will about Texas, but they elect some good-looking governors. Greg Abbott. Rick Perry. George W. Bush. This guy.
15. Asa Hutchinson (Arkansas)
When he was running for office, Asa Hutchinson pitched himself as the “jobs governor.” He promised to create so many jobs that every citizen in Arkansas could have four to six jobs. Thanks, Governor Hutchinson!
14. Pete Ricketts (Nebraska)
Pete Ricketts’ dad owns the Chicago Cubs. So if you ever need the Cubs to throw a game so you can beat the spread and win back your engagement ring, try asking Pete Rickett!
(I’ve tried asking him, but maybe you’ll have better luck.)
13. Pat McCrory (North Carolina)
North Carolina governor Pat McCrory wants the people of South Carolina to know that there’s no law saying he can’t be governor of two states at once.
12. Mary Fallin (Oklahoma)
Wait. Women can be governors? WHAT AM I DOING WASTING MY TIME WITH THIS WEB SITE???
11. Matt Mead (Wyoming)
Matt Mead’s grandfather was the governor of Wyoming. Now, does that qualify Matt Mead to be the governor of Wyoming?
Yes, it does! That was a trick question. Anything qualifies you to be the governor of Wyoming!
10. Steve Bullock (Montana)
When he was running for class president at Claremont McKenna College, Steve Bullock set up a corral full of sheep outside the school’s dining hall, with a sign that said “A Vote for Steve Will be a Vote for Ewe.”
After winning the election, he made true on this campaign promise by appointing a ewe to the Reunion Planning Committee.
(Incidentally, the reunion was terrible.)
9. Charlie Baker (Massachusetts)
—You know, there’s room for two on this bench.
—Not really, Governor Baker, when you’re sitting in the middle like that…
—Come on, you look tired! Have a seat.
—I guess I could sit down on this end…oh wait, that’s where you put your coat.
—Yeah. Don’t move my coat.
—Maybe I’ll just stand.
—Don’t be silly! There’s nothing wrong with sitting very, very close to the governor of Massachusetts on a bench!
—Um, wasn’t that your campaign slogan?
8. Susana Martinez (New Mexico)
Here is Governor Susana Martinez speaking on Career Day at a Sante Fe elementary school.
7. Butch Otter (Idaho)
Butch Otter has:
• won a tight jeans contest
• appeared in an adult movie
• said that he only failed a Breathalyzer test was because his chewing tobacco was soaked in Jack Daniel’s.
AND HIS NAME IS BUTCH OTTER, YOU GUYS!!!
6. Alejandro García Padilla (Puerto Rico)
—What was that noise? Who’s back there?
—It IS I, PUERTO RICO GOVERNOR ALEJANDRO GARCÍA PADILLA!
—Ugh, you really scared me! Why are you always lurking in the shadows like that?
—It’s all part of the job!
—Well, not this job. My other job.
5. Terry McAuliffe (Virginia)
Terry McAuliffe once wrestled an alligator in order to win a $15,000 campaign contribution for Jimmy Carter. And this was last year! He just doesn’t know when to give up.
4. Nikki Haley (South Carolina)
Here is Governor Nikki Haley, moments before she was shooed off the White House porch.
3. Brian Sandoval (Nevada)
The room was empty, except for a gold slot machine illuminated by a single spotlight. He had never seen the room before, and he couldn’t remember how he had gotten there. But he felt something drawing him toward the slot machine, almost as if it had curved the space around it and he was falling into its orbit. He took a quarter out of his pocket, slid it into the coin slot, and—after a moment of hesitation—pulled the lever.
The mechanical reels whirred to life, spinning at a dizzying speed. Then they began to slow, one by one, until each came to rest on an image of the Nevada state flag.
And that’s the story of how Brian Sandoval became the governor of Nevada! Now he’s stuck running the state until some other unsuspecting tourist wanders into the basement of the Bellagio.
2. Muriel Bowser (District of Columbia)
I know there are going to be a lot of whiners out there who complain that Muriel Bowser isn’t technically a governor. To those people, I say: Stop complaining, Nikki Haley! You came in fourth, and that’s still pretty good.
1. Jay Inslee (Washington)
Jay Inslee has just been WAITING for someone to make a list of governors in order of hotness. You’re welcome, Jay Inslee!