The List

If you disagree with our rankings, we encourage you to voice your opinion by leaving a comment at the bottom of this page. Like any good sham democracy, we will take your comments under advisement.

  1. Helle Thorning-Schmidt
    Helle Thorning-Schmidt Prime Minister of Denmark
    -
  2. Wangchuck
    Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck King of Bhutan
    -
  3. Nieto
    Enrique Peña Nieto
    President of Mexico
    -
  4. Felipe VI
    Felipe VI King of Spain
    -
  5. Kabila
    Joseph Kabila President of the Democratic Republic of the Congo
    -
  6. Kirchner
    Cristina Fernández de Kirchner President of Argentina
    -
  7. Henri
    Henri Grand Duke of Luxembourg
    -
  8. Skerrit
    Roosevelt Skerrit Prime Minister of Dominica
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  9. Correa
    Rafael Correa President of Ecuador
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  10. Medvedev
    Dmitry Medvedev Prime Minister of Russia
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  11. Loong
    Lee Hsien Loong Prime Minister of Singapore
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  12. Lukashenko
    Alexander Lukashenko President of Belarus
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  13. Simpson Miller
    Portia Simpson-Miller Prime Minister of Jamaica
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  14. Humala
    Ollanta Humala President of Peru
    -
  15. Katainen
    Jyrki Katainen Prime Minister of Finland
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  16. Coelho
    Pedro Passos Coelho Prime Minister of Portugal
    -
  17. Obama
    Barack Obama President of the United States of America
    -
  18. Goodluck Jonathan
    Goodluck Jonathan President of Nigeria
    -
  19. Mahama
    John Dramani Mahama President of Ghana
    -
  20. Ying-jeou
    Ma Ying-jeou President of Taiwan
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  21. Johannesen
    Kaj Leo Johannesen Prime Minister of the Faroe Islands
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  22. Kamla
    Kamla Persad-Bissessar Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago
    -
  23. Neves
    José Maria Neves Prime Minister of Cape Verde
    -
  24. Dukanovic
    Milo Đukanović Prime Minister of Montenegro
    -
  25. Viktor Orbán
    Viktor Orbán Prime Minister of Hungary
    -
  26. Nkurunziza
    Pierre Nkurunziza President of Burundi
    -
  27. Bratušek
    Alenka Bratušek Prime Minister of Slovenia
    -
  28. Mori
    Manny Mori President of the Federated States of Micronesia
    -
  29. Khama
    Ian Khama President of Botswana
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  30. Tong
    Anote Tong President of Kiribati
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  31. Morales
    Evo Morales President of Bolivia
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  32. Funes
    Mauricio Funes President of El Salvador
    -
  33. Oresharski
    Plamen Oresharski Prime Minister of Bulgaria
    -
  34. Putin
    Vladimir Putin President of Russia
    -
  35. Tony Abbott
    Tony Abbott Prime Minister of Australia
    -
  36. Key
    John Key Prime Minister of New Zealand
    -
  37. Netanyahu
    Benjamin Netanyahu Prime Minister of Israel
    -
  38. Compaore
    Blaise Compaoré President of Burkina Faso
    -
  39. Karzai
    Hamid Karzai President of Afghanistan
    -
  40. Traore
    Dioncounda Traoré President of Mali
    -
  41. Thaci
    Hashim Thaçi Prime Minister of Kosovo
    -
  42. Mark Rutte
    Mark Rutte Prime Minister of the Netherlands
    -
  43. Ouattara
    Alassane Ouattara President of Ivory Coast
    -
  44. Abdullah II
    Abdullah II King of Jordan
    -
  45. Gusmão
    Xanana Gusmão Prime Minister of East Timor
    -
  46. Nguesso
    Denis Sassou Nguesso President of the Republic of the Congo
    -
  47. Zardari
    Asif Ali Zardari President of Pakistan
    -
  48. Matteo Renzi
    Matteo Renzi Prime Minister of Italy
    -
  49. Berdimuhamedov
    Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov President of Turkmenistan
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  50. Afewerki
    Isaias Afewerki President of Eritrea
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  51. Martelly
    Michel Martelly President of Haiti
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  52. Remengesau
    Tommy Remengesau President of Palau
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  53. Nhamadjo
    Manuel Serifo Nhamadjo President of Guinea-Bissau
    -
  54. Plevneliev
    Rosen Plevneliev President of Bulgaria
    -
  55. Kikwete
    Jakaya Kikwete President of Tanzania
    -
  56. dos Santos
    José Eduardo dos Santos President of Angola
    -
  57. Abe
    Shinzō Abe Prime Minister of Japan
    -
  58. David Cameron
    David Cameron Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
    -
  59. Qaboos
    Qaboos bin Said al Said Sultan of Oman
    -
  60. Rousseff
    Dilma Rousseff President of Brazil
    -
  61. Desi Bouterse
    Dési Bouterse President of Suriname
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  62. Sihamoni
    Norodom Sihamoni King of Cambodia
    -
  63. Papoulias
    Karolos Papoulias President of Greece
    -
  64. Rajoy
    Mariano Rajoy Prime Minister of Spain
    -
  65. Mbasogo
    Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo President of Equatorial Guinea
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  66. Hans-Adam II
    Hans-Adam II Prince of Liechtenstein
    -
  67. Mitchell
    Keith Mitchell Prime Minister of Grenada
    -
  68. Albert II
    Albert II Prince of Monaco
    -
  69. Faymann
    Werner Faymann Chancellor of Austria
    -
  70. Margrethe II
    Margrethe II Queen of Denmark
    -
  71. Molina
    Otto Pérez Molina President of Guatemala
    -
  72. Douglas
    Denzil Douglas Prime Minister of Saint Kitts and Nevis
    -
  73. Mohammed VI
    Mohammed VI King of Morocco
    -
  74. Silva
    Aníbal Cavaco Silva President of Portugal
    -
  75. Kenny
    Enda Kenny Taoiseach of Ireland
    -
  76. Tusk
    Donald Tusk Prime Minister of Poland
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  77. Saakashvili
    Mikheil Saakashvili President of Georgia
    -
  78. Geun-hye
    Park Geun-hye President of South Korea
    -
  79. Hinds
    Sam Hinds Prime Minister of Guyana
    -
  80. Iveta Radicova
    Iveta Radičová Prime Minister of Slovakia
    -
  81. Abdulla Yameen
    Abdulla Yameen President of the Maldives
    -
  82. Franco
    Federico Franco President of Paraguay
    -
  83. Michelle Bachelet
    Michelle Bachelet President of Chile
    -
  84. Nishani
    Bujar Nishani President of Albania
    -
  85. Aziz
    Mohamed Ould Abdel Aziz President of Mauritania
    -
  86. Sejdiu
    Nikola Gruevski Prime Minister of Macedonia
    -
  87. Aquino
    Noynoy Aquino President of the Philippines
    -
  88. Berzins
    Andris Bērziņš President of Latvia
    -
  89. Issoufou
    Mahamadou Issoufou President of Niger
    -
  90. Josipovic
    Ivo Josipović President of Croatia
    -
  91. Ramgoolam
    Navin Ramgoolam Prime Minister of Mauritius
    -
  92. Samaras
    Antonis Samaras Prime Minister of Greece
    -
  93. Willem-Alexander
    Willem-Alexander King of the Netherlands
    -
  94. Johnson-Sirleaf
    Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf President of Liberia
    -
  95. Nazarbayev
    Nursultan Nazarbayev President of Kazakhstan
    -
  96. Loeak
    Christopher Loeak President of the Marshall Islands
    -
  97. Maurer
    Ueli Maurer President of Switzerland
    -
  98. Wazed
    Sheikh Hasina Wazed Prime Minister of Bangladesh
    -
  99. Akihito
    Akihito Emperor of Japan
    -
  100. Christie
    Perry Christie Prime Minister of the Bahamas
    -
  101. Nikolić
    Tomislav Nikolić President of Serbia
    -
  102. Rahmon
    Emomalii Rahmon President of Tajikistan
    -
  103. Halim
    Abdul Halim of Kedah Yang di-Pertuan Agong of Malaysia
    -
  104. Petro Poroshenko
    Petro Poroshenko President of Ukraine
    -
  105. Maduro
    Nicolás Maduro President of Venezuela
    -
  106. Medina
    Danilo Medina President of the Dominican Republic
    -
  107. Al Khalifah
    Hamad ibn Isa Al Khalifah King of Bahrain
    -
  108. Solberg
    Erna Solberg Prime Minister of Norway
    -
  109. Museveni
    Yoweri Museveni President of Uganda
    -
  110. Pinto da Costa
    Manuel Pinto da Costa President of São Tomé and Príncipe
    -
  111. Queen Elizabeth
    Elizabeth II Queen regnant of the United Kingdom and the other Commonwealth realms
    -
  112. Abela
    George Abela President of Malta
    -
  113. Rouhani
    Hassan Rouhani President of Iran
    -
  114. Boni
    Yayi Boni President of Benin
    -
  115. Ponta
    Victor Ponta Prime Minister of Romania
    -
  116. Singh
    Manmohan Singh Prime Minister of India
    -
  117. Harper
    Stephen Harper Prime Minister of Canada
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  118. Di Rupo
    Elio Di Rupo Prime Minister of Belgium
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  119. Hollande
    François Hollande President of France
    -
  120. Martinelli
    Ricardo Martinelli President of Panama
    -
  121. Spencer
    Baldwin Spencer Prime Minister of Antigua and Barbuda
    -
  122. Jammeh
    Yahya Jammeh President of The Gambia
    -
  123. Yadav
    Ram Baran Yadav President of Nepal
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  124. Koroma
    Ernest Bai Koroma President of Sierra Leone
    -
  125. Gnassingbé
    Faure Gnassingbé President of Togo
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  126. Elbegdorj
    Tsakhiagiin Elbegdorj President of Mongolia
    -
  127. Uribe
    Juan Manuel Santos President of Colombia
    -
  128. Abbas
    Mahmoud Abbas President of the Palestinian National Authority
    -
  129. Luis Guillermo Solís
    Luis Guillermo Solís President of Costa Rica
    -
  130. Angela Merkel
    Angela Merkel Chancellor of Germany
    -
  131. Erdoğan
    Recep Tayyip Erdoğan Prime Minister of Turkey
    -
  132. Desalegn
    Hailemariam Desalegn Prime Minister of Ethiopia
    -
  133. Barrow
    Dean Barrow Prime Minister of Belize
    -
  134. Dũng
    Nguyễn Tấn Dũng Prime Minister of Vietnam
    -
  135. D.M. Jayaratne
    D. M. Jayaratne Prime Minister of Sri Lanka
    -
  136. Al-Sabah
    Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah Emir of Kuwait
    -
  137. Sellal
    Abdelmalek Sellal Prime Minister of Algeria
    -
  138. Lobo
    Porfirio Lobo Sosa President of Honduras
    -
  139. Biya
    Paul Biya President of Cameroon
    -
  140. O’Neill
    Peter O’Neill Prime Minister of Papau New Guinea
    -
  141. Pope Francis
    Pope Francis Sovereign of Vatican City
    -
  142. Ader
    János Áder President of Hungary
    -
  143. Ortega
    Daniel Ortega President of Nicaragua
    -
  144. Moulaye Ould Mohamed Laghdaf
    Moulaye Ould Mohamed Laghdaf Prime Minister of Mauritania
    -
  145. Hassan Sheikh Mohamoud
    Hassan Sheikh Mohamoud President of Somalia
    -
  146. Michel
    James Michel President of the Seychelles
    -
  147. Bouteflika
    Abdelaziz Bouteflika President of Algeria
    -
  148. Kenyatta
    Uhuru Kenyatta President of Kenya
    -
  149. Freundel Stuart
    Freundel Stuart Prime Minister of Barbados
    -
  150. Mswati
    Mswati III King of Swaziland
    -
  151. Rusnok
    Jiří Rusnok Prime Minister of the Czech Republic
    -
  152. Leancă
    Iurie Leancă Prime Minister of Moldova
    -
  153. Karimov
    Islam Karimov President of Uzbekistan
    -
  154. Gauck
    Joachim Gauck President of Germany
    -
  155. Pohamba
    Hifikepunye Pohamba President of Namibia
    -
  156. Ansip
    Andrus Ansip Prime Minister of Estonia
    -
  157. Higgins
    Michael Higgins President of Ireland
    -
  158. Banda
    Joyce Banda President of Malawi
    -
  159. Dhoinine
    Ikililou Dhoinine President of Comoros
    -
  160. Gunnlaugsso
    Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsso Prime Minister of Iceland
    -
  161. Rasizade
    Artur Rasizade Prime Minister of Azerbaijan
    -
  162. Anthony
    Kenny Anthony Prime Minister of St. Lucia
    -
  163. Guebuza
    Armando Guebuza President of Mozambique
    -
  164. Grybauskaitė
    Dalia Grybauskaitė President of Lithuania
    -
  165. Tammam Salam
    Tammam Salam President of Lebanon (Acting)
    -
  166. Zeman
    Miloš Zeman President of the Czech Republic
    -
  167. Hadi
    Abd Rabbuh Mansur Hadi President of Yemen
    -
  168. Nahyan
    Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan President of the United Arab Emirates
    -
  169. Maliki
    Nouri al-Maliki Prime Minister of Iraq
    -
  170. Yudhoyono
    Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono President of Indonesia
    -
  171. Napolitano
    Giorgio Napolitano President of Italy
    -
  172. Conde
    Alpha Condé President of Guinea
    -
  173. Adulyadej
    Bhumibol Adulyadej King of Thailand
    -
  174. Rajoelina
    Andry Rajoelina President of the High Transition of Authority of Madagascar
    -
  175. Letsie
    Letsie III King of Lesotho
    -
  176. Sargsyan
    Serzh Sargsyan President of Armenia
    -
  177. Anastasiades
    Nicos Anastasiades President of Cyprus
    -
  178. Ondimbo
    Ali Bongo Ondimba President of Gabon
    -
  179. Guelleh
    Ismail Omar Guelleh President of Djibouti
    -
  180. Malielegaoi
    Tuilaepa Aiono Sailele Malielegaoi Prime Minister of Samoa
    -
  181. Bolkiah
    Hassanal Bolkiah Sultan of Brunei
    -
  182. Gustaf
    Carl XVI Gustaf King of Sweden
    -
  183. Harald V
    Harald V King of Norway
    -
  184. al-Bashir
    Omar al-Bashir President of Sudan
    -
  185. Jinping
    Xi Jinping President of China
    -
  186. Idriss Déby
    Idriss Déby President of Chad
    -
  187. Michel Djotodia
    Michel Djotodia President of the Central African Republic
    -
  188. Raúl Castro
    Raúl Castro President of Cuba
    -
  189. Vjekoslav Bevanda
    Vjekoslav Bevanda Prime Minister of Bosnia and Herzegovina
    -
  190. Bashar al Assad
    Bashar al Assad President of Syria
    -
  191. Thein Sein
    Thein Sein President of Myanmar
    -
  192. Sall
    Macky Sall President of Senegal
    -
  193. Abdullah
    Abdullah King of Saudi Arabia
    -
  194. Waqa
    Baron Waqa President of the Republic of Nauru
    -
  195. Jacob Zuma
    Jacob Zuma President of South Africa
    -
  196. Kagame
    Paul Kagame President of Rwanda
    -
  197. Thongsing Thammavong
    Thongsing Thammavong Prime Minister of Laos
    -
  198. Sata
    Michael Sata President of Zambia
    -
  199. Mujica
    José Mujica President of Uruguay
    -
  200. Aliyev
    Ilham Aliyev President of Azerbaijan
    -
  201. Khalifa
    Hamad bin Khalifa Emir of Qatar
    -
  202. Mugabe
    Robert Mugabe President of Zimbabwe
    -
  203. Jong-un
    Kim Jong-un Supreme Leader of North Korea
    -

More “humor” web sites by J.D. and Kate:
Real Fortune Cookies
The Slow Laundry Movement
Slow Laundry in the City
Forest Park Fox Hunt

2,787 comments

  1. why? Why? WHY? is not the adorably cute Cute CUTE King of Bhutan Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck rocketed past the (while very lovely) Prime Minister of Denmark Helle Thorning-Schmidt?
    Which hitch-hiker would you be more willing to pick up?
    The sweet, sincere eyes of Jigme Khesar Namgyel or the intense murderous stare of Helle Thorning-Schmidt?

    1. His dimples? ha ha what a joke! This man is corrupted to the core. When he was handpicked to be prime minister, he did not own a car. In less than ten years as prime minister, he is worth over ten million dollars. He built himself a mansion which he lied to the public and said it would cost four hundred thousand. His house is worth one million. He built villas, stole money from the treasury and when he was caught, he put the money back into the treasury. He continues to sell Dominica’s passports to criminals around the world while he and his legal buddies pocket the funds. This man has no respect for his citizens. He attacks medical professionals at parliament, instructed the arrest of a member on the opposite side for a statement he made and later caused him to be voted out of parliament. This prime minister runs the country like a dictatorship. He is a coward, he will not entertain a debate between himself and the leader of the opposition. He does not entertain the media except those working for the government. He should rank at the bottom with Kim Jong-un where he belongs.

  2. Wow, Putin is only 34. There must be some mistake. Putin was named Sexiest Man Alive by DEPESHA, Russian Lifestyle Magazine.
    Here is a fragment from that article on Putin:
    “Being busy never looked as good as does on DEPESHA’s Sexiest Man Alive: a surprise June engagement to girlfriend Behati Prinsloo came while President was shooting first feature film; he launched men’s clothing line at Kmart this year and namesake fragrances for men and women; he dominated on RT hit The Russia Got Talent; and President also managed to find time to get nearly naked – and cuddle with puppies. Sigh. Is there anything he can’t do?”

  3. Cristina Fernández de Kirchner should be higher. There’s too many men high up the rankings. I guess you must be female or gay…

  4. I think Janos Ader would be way higher if not for the mustache… But being that we have Kate (futurely) Lukashenko doing the ratings here, you’d think that a mustache wouldn’t drop someone so far down!

    1. Actually he is being punished for looking so cheesy in his photo. I will concede, however, that his features are not wholly unattractive.

  5. As hot as Mohamed Nasheed is, he hasn’t been president of the Maldives for nearly two and a half years. Now it’s Abdulla Yameen and he’s way less hot.

    1. Bah. I haven’t bothered updating it because that country is going to sink into the ocean any day now.

  6. Enrico Letta is no longer Italian Prime Minister, it’s now Matteo Renzi (who is way hotter, so bump him up!)

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