Barbara Walters

You sit down with Barbara Walters from ABC News.

BARBARA: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today.

YOU: Of course.

BARBARA: Let’s start off with the impeachment. How is that going?

YOU: Barbara, I am being judged for a non-crime. This is a parliamentary coup. And it is…uh, are you eating a sandwich?

BARBARA: [chewing a mouthful of sandwich] Is that a problem?

YOU: Uh, I guess not….So, I think part of what’s going on here is that I am the first woman to be president of Brazil, and—

BARBARA: [eating sounds] Mmmrmm…

YOU: Sorry, but it’s a little distracting the way you are eating a meatball sub during the interview. Also, it’s 9 o’clock in the morning.

BARBARA: Do you want some?

YOU: No.

BARBARA: Good, because you can’t have any.

OK, that went great! What do you want to do now?