workout girl

You sit down with Whitney Lane from Women’s Fitness.

WHITNEY: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us today, Madame President.

YOU: It is my pleasure.

WHITNEY: So tell us, how does a busy president like yourself stay fit during
an impeachment trial?

YOU: Well…I do a lot of nervous pacing.

WHITNEY: Good, good. I’ll write that down. “Pacing.”

YOU: Uh, don’t you have a tape recorder or something?


YOU: OK, well, what I really want to tell you is that I am a victim of a coup. It is a parliamentary coup instead of military coup, but still, I am going to fight—

WHITNEY: I’m sorry to interrupt, but could you frame this in terms of exercise?

YOU: Exercise?

WHITNEY: Right. Maybe describe how you are going to fight…

YOU: Uh, I am going to fight using the political system set in place by our—

WHITNEY: I mean like karate? Kickboxing? Tae-bo?

YOU: Er…Tae bo.

WHITNEY: Tae bo? Really? Well, if you insist. OK, I’ll write that down. “Tae bo.” Now tell me, how are you going to train?

YOU: I don’t think that this is—

WHITNEY: You know what? I think I’ve got everything I need now. Let’s just get a picture of you in a sports bra and we’ll be good to go.

OK, that went great! What do you want to do now?