You sit down with Whitney Lane from Women’s Fitness.
WHITNEY: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us today, Madame President.
YOU: It is my pleasure.
WHITNEY: So tell us, how does a busy president like yourself stay fit during
an impeachment trial?
YOU: Well…I do a lot of nervous pacing.
WHITNEY: Good, good. I’ll write that down. “Pacing.”
YOU: Uh, don’t you have a tape recorder or something?
YOU: OK, well, what I really want to tell you is that I am a victim of a coup. It is a parliamentary coup instead of military coup, but still, I am going to fight—
WHITNEY: I’m sorry to interrupt, but could you frame this in terms of exercise?
WHITNEY: Right. Maybe describe how you are going to fight…
YOU: Uh, I am going to fight using the political system set in place by our—
WHITNEY: I mean like karate? Kickboxing? Tae-bo?
YOU: Er…Tae bo.
WHITNEY: Tae bo? Really? Well, if you insist. OK, I’ll write that down. “Tae bo.” Now tell me, how are you going to train?
YOU: I don’t think that this is—
WHITNEY: You know what? I think I’ve got everything I need now. Let’s just get a picture of you in a sports bra and we’ll be good to go.
OK, that went great! What do you want to do now?