You are swarmed by microphones and television cameras. Reporters are shouting questions at you. At first you just stand there, dazed. But then you realize—this is your chance.

“Michel Temer is a traitor and a criminal,” you shout.

The reporters turn silent.

“Dilma Rousseff is innocent!” you continue. “Well, relatively innocent. She’s guilty of being an amazing and beautiful president. But otherwise, innocent. Michel Temer, on the other hand, is innocent of nothing except for being a good friend who doesn’t try to get his friends impeached.”

A group Olympic officials descends on you. “The opinions of our athletes do not necessarily represent the opinions of the International Olympic Committee,” you hear one of them tell the reporters as you are dragged backstage.

But they were too late, and in the coming days, Dilma Rousseff’s endorsement from “Madison Kocian” turns the tide of public opinion in your favor.

Of course, you still end up being impeached, because the Senate is completely crooked. But at least you’re popular and not living in a tunnel! (Had you made some different choices in life, you might have ended up living in a tunnel.)


Start Over