It’s too nice of a day in Florida to stick around Washington, so you decide to take Air Force One out of town.

There is a thunderstorm over the Carolinas, and the flight becomes bumpy. As you gaze out the window, a bolt of lightning flashes, illuminating the dark sky. For that split second, you see a shocking sight. There is some kind of creature standing on the plane’s wing, prying open a panel and tearing out wiring by the handful! You rub your eyes and peer out the window again, but all you see is blackness. Shaken, you quickly summon the lead Secret Service agent.

“When the lightning flashed just now, I saw a monster out there in the storm, standing on the plane’s wing. Do whatever you have to do to get rid of it.”

The agent raises an eyebrow. “Mr. President, you saw someone standing on the wing? As we fly along at 36,000 feet, going over 400 knots?”

monster on the plane“No, not someone. A monster! Some kind of gray scaly monster. And it’s trying to destroy the wing and crash us. Believe me. Believe me. I order you to go out on the wing and arrest it.”

The agent continues looking at you. “So, you’re saying that there’s a monster on the wing of Air Force One?” He begins counting on his fingers. “Is this like the time you said you’d release your income taxes? Or the time you said all your foundation’s money went to charities? Or the time you said there had been millions of fraudulent votes in the election?”

Obviously, this agent doesn’t understand the difference between being a good salesman and reporting on the existence of a dangerous supernatural monster. You suppose that, as with so many other things, you’ll have to use your tremendous leadership skills to handle this yourself. And you’ll need to use the ability that brought you to the White House in the first place.

You turn to the black window, facing the wing where you last saw the monster. Affecting your steeliest, squintiest expression, you say “You’re fired,” over and over again, as the plane begins to lose altitude.


Start Over