Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

Author: Kate

Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 6

Yes, I am still writing this. This is a perfectly normal speed at which to write Justin Trudeau fan fiction. Past chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Chapter 6: In Which You are Reminded About Email

The rest of the weekend passes uneventfully. You try to go about your normal leisure activities, like trying on different hats in front of a mirror, but your thoughts keep sliding back to Justin Trudeau. It’s hard to believe that it’s been only a week since you met him! It feels more like it’s been several years, but with large gaps of time in between each encounter that you can’t account for.

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Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 5

Relive the excitement of past chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 5: In Which You Get a Great New Coat

You are still staring at Justin Trudeau when Pedro Sanchez picks you up and starts spinning you around really fast like a tornado.

“I invented this dance move myself!” he says. “I call it la macarena.”

Part of you wants to point out that this name choice is unnecessarily confusing, but another part of you doesn’t want to get into a whole thing about it.

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A Christmas Memory of Me and Barack Obama

If you’re not familiar with A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote, then please enjoy this completely original work of fiction written by me, Kate.


Imagine a Christmas morning in late November 2016. Consider the kitchen of a sprawling, old White House. It’s all stainless steel counters and shiny, oversized appliances. In the center of the room there’s a cluster of pots and pans hanging from the ceiling, their bottoms blackened with use.

A man with shorn, graying hair is standing at the kitchen window. He is wearing brown shoes and a light tan suit that is a strange choice for late November. He is tall and lean, his face smooth except for the laugh lines at the corners of his mouth. He turns to me with a twinkle in his eye and says, “Are you fired up and ready to make fruitcakes?”

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Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 4

Kill time by reading the first three chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Chapter 4: In Which You Meet the Prime Minister of Spain and Everything Goes Smoothly

When you arrive at your office the morning after your big date, Mabel is pacing outside your door. She’s holding a newspaper in one hand and has a look of steely determination that immediately puts you on your guard, because steel is dangerous.

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Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 3

Thanks to a well-organized email campaign by a few high school students, you are being subjected to another chapter of Justin Trudeau fan fiction.

In case you need to get caught up: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Justin Trudeau fan fiction

Chapter 3: In Which You Have the Best First Date Ever

It’s hard to believe how quickly things are happening for you. 

One week ago, you were just another newly elected member of Canadian Parliament, living in Toronto because you mistakenly thought it was the capital of Canada. And now here you are—living in Ottawa (???), the pretend girlfriend of a prime minister, and the recipient of the 2018 Polio Eradication Champion Award! (OK, maybe “recipient” isn’t the right word. What is the word for when you steal something from Justin Trudeau’s office when he isn’t looking?)

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Which U.S. President is Your Perfect Boyfriend?

Which US President is your Perfect Boyfriend

Our Valentine’s Day gift to you is a flowchart that will tell you which U.S. president you should date.

When you’re done reading it, you can print it out on six or seven pieces of paper, then tape the paper together and roll it up like a scroll. Then you can put it in your scroll bag and carry it around with you, along with all of your other scrolls!

As a final note, this took me forever to make. If you enjoy it, it seems like the least you could do is buy four or five copies of our book.

Click here to view the complete flowchart.

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John Tyler Swamp Monster Fan Fiction

John Tyler, president and swamp monster

It’s Halloween, and you know what that means—it’s time to eat a meal of Halloween candy while you read some spooky but arousing fan fiction about former U.S. president and swamp monster John Tyler! (If you were not aware that President Tyler was an ancient swamp monster, then you have not read our book and you are dead to us.) Enjoy! 

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JD and Kate Visit the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum

Even though we’ve finished writing our book, can we still deduct the cost of visiting presidential museums from our taxes? There’s only one way to find out!

The Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum

The Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum

Independence, MO
Adults: $8 | Children (age 6-15): $3 | Children (5 and under): Free

Kate: I have never been more sleepy than on the day we visited the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum in Independence, MO.

JD: Same. Sometimes, I get an idea in the middle of the night and write it down, but in the morning it makes no sense. That is what my notes from this visit are like. “How does this lettering get eroded.” “Black out parts of a love letter.” OK, JD, whatever you say!

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Help a Statue of Young Ronald Reagan in a Bathing Suit Get Erected

Young Ronald Reagan

Normally, we don’t use this platform to promote any sort of cause or agenda. (Except for the agenda of trying to get you to buy our book, through frequent, gratuitous mentions of our book.)

But this isn’t as a matter of principle. After all, this is a website that ranks people in order of hotness—clearly, I have no principles.* The reason is simply that there has never been a cause that really inspired me. Until now.

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