Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

Special Report

The Presidents of the United States: When They Were Young and Hunky

Young Theodore Roosevelt

Not a lot of people realize how attractive (almost) all of the U.S. presidents were when they were young. And I, for one, am tired of people not realizing this.

So for the sake of your history education, I submit to you photos of the U.S. presidents when they were young and hunky.

They are not ranked in order of hotness, because I couldn’t find a picture of every president in the same age range, and in a couple of cases I couldn’t find a youthful photo or portrait at all. In those instances I just substituted a a picture of Tommy Lee Jones or whoever. Enjoy!

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Head-of-State Halloween Costumes

Still scrambling to come up with a Halloween costume that’s smart, sexy, and completely unrecognizable? Why not dress as a head of state! If nothing else, you’ll finally get to wear that suit you bought for job interviews.

But with over two hundred heads of state to choose from, how do you narrow it down to just one? Luckily for you, JD and I have nothing to do, so we’ve compiled this list of 12 Heads of State Who Would Make Great Halloween Costumes.

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The Hottest Signers of the Declaration of Independence

Signing of the Declaration of Independence

US Capitol

On July 4, 1776, fifty-six brave patriots gathered together in the boring city of Philadelphia to sign a document that later came to be known as the Declaration of Independence.* Now, 238 years later, some equally brave patriots (me and J.D.) are commemorating the occasion by ranking those signers in order of hotness.

Like our Founding Fathers before us, we also have a long list of grievances against the British government, but we will save that for another day.

Here is the list.

*Actually, they just approved the final wording on July 4. Historians believe there never was an official signing ceremony, and instead Thomas Jefferson just forged everyone’s signatures.

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Special Report: How to Improve Your Ranking on this Web Site

Not a day goes by that we don’t get a phone call from some world leader wanting to know what he or she can do to improve their ranking on our totally arbitrary list of the hottest world leaders.

Since we simply don’t have time to field all of these phone calls, I have prepared this helpful guide entitled “How to Improve Your Ranking on”

Stephen Harper waits patiently on the phone

Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper listens patiently to our hold music.*

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The Great Transformation

H.L. Mencken

U.S. National Archives and Records

In an obscure but sexually charged observation, H.L. Menken said—probably in a throaty whisper—that in a democracy “the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” Indeed. We at Hottest Heads of State allowed the common people to have a say in our ranking of world leaders by hotness, and we got it good and hard.

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