brentolson / flickr.com
One question we get a lot is “Is your website a dating service?”
The answer, of course, is yes. Obviously.
Running a country can be a lot of work. Some world leaders work as many as 10 or 15 hours a week! That’s a lot, especially considering most of that time is spent engaging in hand-to-hand combat with challengers to the throne (or, for heads of government, challengers to the regular chair).
For the average head of state, there just aren’t enough hours left in the day to find a suitable mate. And that’s why we’re here: To find romantic companions for all of the leaders of the world, without them even having to ask us, and then impose our choices upon them, even if they’re already married, or have taken a vow of chastity (I’m looking at you, Pope), or have politely but forcefully declined our repeated advances (I’m looking at you again, Pope.)
Currently the most eligible bachelor on our list of hot world leaders is His Majesty King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck, Dragon King of Bhutan.*
Now, there are a few misinformed people who think that because King Khesar’s title is “Dragon King,” it means that he is a dragon. This could not be further from the truth. He is called the Dragon King because the Bhutanese people are dragons, and he is their king. (When I say “Bhutanese people,” I am using the term “people” loosely.) Personally, I think it is very enlightened of dragons to elect a human as their leader. Bees could learn a lesson from dragons.
But putting the relative merits of bees and dragons aside for a moment—today I am proud to announce that, after a long and exhaustive search, we have found the perfect mate for King Khesar. And, in an unexpected twist, it’s me! Yes, me!
We had millions of women fill out our patented compatibility survey, and after extensive analysis we have scientifically determined that I am King Khesar’s ideal partner because my survey was the only one not destroyed in a warehouse fire under suspicious circumstances. According to this survey, I am uniquely suited to be King Khesar’s wife because I am willing to move to the tropical island paradise that is Bhutan and live with him in his palace built out of coconuts and serviced by hundreds of iguana butlers.
So now all that’s left is for me to meet King Khesar and marry him and then I finally get to start bossing around some dragons. What an exciting new chapter for me!
*You will be devastated to learn that, since first publishing this post in 2010, King Khesar has gotten married. You will be even MORE devastated to learn that the woman he married is not me.
That’s a lot of devastation for one day. You should go ahead and take the rest of the afternoon off. Just tell your boss I said it was OK!