President of Uruguay
José Mujica has been dubbed “the world’s poorest president.” I’m no accountant, but I suspect part of his problem is that he donates 90% of his salary to charity. (I don’t know about you, but I spend 90% of my salary on building up my designer scrunchie collection. Scrunchies are poised to make a comeback, and this time, I am going to be ready!)
In addition to his show-offy charity donations, Mujica also refuses to move into the opulent Uruguayan presidential palace, and instead he lives in a shack. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not a RadioShack. It’s just a regular shack (though possibly with a radio inside).
I don’t know about you, but I am getting sick and tired of José Mujica making me feel bad about my selfishness and unbridled consumerism by living a life of austerity and generosity. So I’ve decided to turn things around and start following Mujica’s example. To that end, I have composed this list:
WAYS I CAN TRY TO BE MORE LIKE JOSÉ MUJICA:
- Change my name to José Mujica.
- Stop writing lists of ways to be more like José Mujica. José Mujica never does this.
- Become the leader of a left-wing guerilla army. I’ve actually been meaning to do this anyway, but life keeps getting in the way.
- Spend two years living at the bottom of a well. Honestly, I am probably going to skip this one.
- Donate all of my money to charity. I am probably going to skip this one, too.
- Move into a one-bedroom shack in rural Uruguay. I’m thinking I’ll just steal José Mujica’s shack by breaking in and changing the locks while he’s out washing homeless people’s feet.
- Become president of Uruguay. After four years of enlightened and ethical governance under President José Mujica, I think the people of Uruguay will find me to be a breath of fresh air.