Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

U.S. Presidents

Gaze Upon the U.S. Presidents in Bathing Suits

Gerald Ford swimming

If you are eating right now, stop eating! You are about to see presidents of the United States wearing bathing suits, and it is an experience that is incompatible with the digestion of food.

You might be wondering, “Is this safe to view at work?” The answer is that it depends on where you work. If you’re not sure, ask the HR department if your office has a policy on looking at pictures of the presidents in bathing suits during work hours.

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Choose Your Own Adventure: You Are Donald Trump

Choose Your Own Adventure: You are Donald Trump

WARNING!!

Do not read this story straight through from beginning to end. These web pages contain many different adventures you may have as U.S. president Donald Trump. From time to time as you read along, you will be asked to make a choice. Your choice may lead to disaster, a worse disaster, or—theoretically—middling success.

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The Vice Presidents of the United States: In Order of Hotness

Dan Quayle

U.S. Department of Defense

At some point in their lives, every American memorizes the faces of all 43 U.S. presidents. But have you ever wondered what our vice presidents look like? No? Oh.

Um. I’m just going to leave this here:
The Vice Presidents of the United States: In Order of Hotness.

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The Presidents of the United States: When They Were Young and Hunky

Young Theodore Roosevelt

Not a lot of people realize how attractive (almost) all of the U.S. presidents were when they were young. And I, for one, am tired of people not realizing this.

So for the sake of your history education, I submit to you photos of the U.S. presidents when they were young and hunky.

They are not ranked in order of hotness, because I couldn’t find a picture of every president in the same age range, and in a couple of cases I couldn’t find a youthful photo or portrait at all. In those instances I just substituted a a picture of Tommy Lee Jones or whoever. Enjoy!

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