Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

#Justin Trudeau

Fan Fiction

Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 6

By
on

Yes, I am still writing this. This is a perfectly normal speed at which to write Justin Trudeau fan fiction. Past chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Chapter 6: In Which You are Reminded About Email

The rest of the weekend passes uneventfully. You try to go about your normal leisure activities, like trying on different hats in front of a mirror, but your thoughts keep sliding back to Justin Trudeau. It’s hard to believe that it’s been only a week since you met him! It feels more like it’s been several years, but with large gaps of time in between each encounter that you can’t account for.

Continue Reading
Comments Off on Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 6
Fan Fiction

Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 5

By
on

Relive the excitement of past chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 5: In Which You Get a Great New Coat

You are still staring at Justin Trudeau when Pedro Sanchez picks you up and starts spinning you around really fast like a tornado.

“I invented this dance move myself!” he says. “I call it la macarena.”

Part of you wants to point out that this name choice is unnecessarily confusing, but another part of you doesn’t want to get into a whole thing about it.

Continue Reading
Comments Off on Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 5
Fan Fiction

Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 4

By
on

Kill time by reading the first three chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Chapter 4: In Which You Meet the Prime Minister of Spain and Everything Goes Smoothly

When you arrive at your office the morning after your big date, Mabel is pacing outside your door. She’s holding a newspaper in one hand and has a look of steely determination that immediately puts you on your guard, because steel is dangerous.

Continue Reading
Comments Off on Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 4
Fan Fiction

Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 3

By
on

Thanks to a well-organized email campaign by a few high school students, you are being subjected to another chapter of Justin Trudeau fan fiction.

In case you need to get caught up: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Justin Trudeau fan fiction

Chapter 3: In Which You Have the Best First Date Ever

It’s hard to believe how quickly things are happening for you. 

One week ago, you were just another newly elected member of Canadian Parliament, living in Toronto because you mistakenly thought it was the capital of Canada. And now here you are—living in Ottawa (???), the pretend girlfriend of a prime minister, and the recipient of the 2018 Polio Eradication Champion Award! (OK, maybe “recipient” isn’t the right word. What is the word for when you steal something from Justin Trudeau’s office when he isn’t looking?)

Continue Reading
Comments Off on Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 3
Special Report

World Leaders Share Their New Year’s Resolutions

By
on

This year, our New Year’s resolution was to write a list of fake New Year’s resolutions and ascribe them to various heads of state and government. Now we’re done, and we get to kick back and do nothing for the rest of the year. See you in January 2017, suckers!

We asked: “What is your New Year’s resolution?”

Kim Jong Un

Wikimedia Commons

“I know I say this every January, but this year I’m really going to invade South Korea. I just need to stay focused and not get distracted by other stuff once I’m back at work. If it’s April and I still haven’t invaded South Korea, I want you guys to call me on it.”

—Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of North Korea

Continue Reading

2 Comments on World Leaders Share Their New Year’s Resolutions