Choose Your Own Adventure: You are Donald Trump


Do not read this story straight through from beginning to end. These web pages contain many different adventures you may have as U.S. president Donald Trump. From time to time as you read along, you will be asked to make a choice. Your choice may lead to disaster, a worse disaster, or—theoretically—middling success.

The adventures you have will be the result of your choices. After you make a choice, follow the instructions and see what happens.

Be careful! As the president of the United States, your choices have the potential to affect the entire planet. (And not in the abstract “a butterfly flapping its wings in China” sense. We mean the “your choices can burn the world in nuclear fire” sense.)

Good Luck!

Page 1

The date is January 20, 2017, and you have just been inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States.

You’re sitting in the Oval Office and thinking about what a dump it is compared to Trump Tower. There is almost no gold or white marble at all. You resolve to fix this quickly, because if there’s one thing that says “This country is great again,” it’s having the elite live in gold-and-marble palaces. You’re making a mental note to pass a law or something to make the White House gold when your chief-of-staff Reince Priebus walks in.

“Mr. President,” says Reince, “We’ve got a emerging situation in the Baltics. Secretary of Defense Mattis would like to brief you immediately.”

Just then, the red phone at the corner of your desk starts ringing. It’s the hotline to the Kremlin! Vladimir Putin must be calling to congratulate you. That guy sure loves to chat!

Boy, this job already feels like a lot of work. What will you do?