USAID
As a special treat, I’d like to share with you an excerpt from the Hamid Karzai fan fiction I’ve been writing. It’s still a work-in-progress, so go easy on me!
It is a hot and muggy evening. (Author’s note: By “muggy,” I mean both that it is humid and also that it is filled with muggers.)
PresidenciaMX 2012-2018 / Wikimedia Commons
You probably didn’t notice, but we’ve spent the last several years neglecting this website in favor of other pursuits. For one thing, we had a couple of kids, so you can now look forward to our upcoming web site on which we rank our children in order of attractiveness.
More importantly though, we finally achieved the American dream of building a fake Mexican town in our basement.
Ηράκλειο / flickr.com
When an election takes place during a time of crisis, the primary concern of voters isn’t always hotness.* For example, polls indicate that if the US presidential election were being held tomorrow, a junk shot wearing an American flag pin would win. Sure, a giant mass of shredded tires and golf balls might not be the hottest candidate, but for some reason Americans are really worried about oil spills right now.
brentolson / flickr.com
One question we get a lot is “Is your website a dating service?”
The answer, of course, is yes. Obviously.
kremlin.ru
Thank you to everyone who participated in our second official poll! To those of you who didn’t participate… I have nothing more to say to you. Please stop reading this and look out the window so those us of who care about polls and democracy and freedom can have a private conversation.
Kapeksas / Wikimedia Commons
As you may have noticed (if you’re my travel agent) I spent last month in Lithuania. Lithuania is a popular vacation destination for those of us who are stalking Alexander Lukashenko but have been banned from Belarus for one reason or another. While there, I managed to land an imaginary interview with Lithuanian president and boyfriend-stealing hussy Dalia Grybauskaite. The transcript follows.
Kate: Dalia Grybauskaite, I have only one question for you today. Are you or are you not romantically involved with Belarusian president Alexander Lukashenko?
Dalia: Wait, what? I thought this was going to be an interview about my black belt in karate.
Kate: Yes, I did invite you here under the premise of questioning you about your unfeminine and unbecoming karate skills, but that was just a clever trick.
Dalia: What do you mean “invite me here”? I was walking to my mailbox and you jumped out from behind a bush!
