President of Portugal

Michał Koziczyński / Senat Rzeczypospolitej Polskiej

Throughout the day, he sleeps. Lovers walk hand-in-hand along the avenues, children eat ice cream that melts and drips on the sun-dappled sidewalks, and all the while he rests, inert, as though stone. But as the light fades and sidewalk cafes fill with evening diners, eating hot crusty bread washed down with sangria measured in milliliters, Portuguese President Aníbal Cavaco Silva awakens. His eyes open with an almost audible click and he rises at the waist like a sprung trap, instantly alert, thirsty for blood and ready for the duties of state.

U.S. State Department

The DRC is very hot right now. Well, actually it is not as hot as it normally is, since I’m writing this in July and it’s “winter” there. But it is normally very hot! It is also a “hot-bed” of violent insurrection (also a year-round, every-year occurrence)! And, of course, it has one of the hottest world leaders in Joseph Kabila. Are these things related? Probably.

At first glance, Kabila stands out among his African peers, because he doesn’t have scars on his face. Most African leaders have scars, because they macheted their way to power in the bush. Kabila, however, was born into power as a result of the violent and bloodthirsty work of his father. Sadly, Kabila’s father (also named Kabila, interestingly enough) died shortly after seizing power, due to complications associated with multiple machete wounds to the face. 🙁 But that leaves his son Joseph to rise to the top(ish) of our charts!

King of Saudi Arabia

Cherie A. Thurlby. / DoD

I spend a lot of time whiling away the hours, playing online poker in my bathrobe, thinking about the role of luck and chance in life.

Minister of State of Monaco

Monaco’s Minister of State Jean-Paul Proust, who entered office in 2005, first rose to prominence as a Parisian novelist in the late 19th and early 20th century.