Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

Bashar al-Assad

President of Syria

NOTE: We wrote this before things in Syria had descended to today’s utterly horrifying levels. There is unfortunately a lot of suffering in the world. But what these folks are enduring, and/or escaping, and/or enduring while they escape is shocking even in a world full of shockingly awful things.

We are not experts on international aid organizations, but below are a few we know are helping. We encourage you to consider supporting their efforts, as we do, and doing anything else you might be in a position to do. In the city we call home (St. Louis) we’re telling our elected officials that we support bringing refugees here, and again, if you’re in a position to do something similar we encourage you to consider it.

CARE
International Rescue Committee
Medicins Sans Frontiers


Choose Your Own Adventure

WARNING!!!

Do not read this straight through from beginning to end. These web pages contain many different adventures you may have as Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. From time to time as you read along, you will be asked to make a choice. Your choice may lead to success or disaster!

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The Hottest Signers of the Declaration of Independence

Signing of the Declaration of Independence

US Capitol

On July 4, 1776, fifty-six brave patriots gathered together in the boring city of Philadelphia to sign a document that later came to be known as the Declaration of Independence.* Now, 238 years later, some equally brave patriots (me and J.D.) are commemorating the occasion by ranking those signers in order of hotness.

Like our Founding Fathers before us, we also have a long list of grievances against the British government, but we will save that for another day.

Here is the list.

*Actually, they just approved the final wording on July 4. Historians believe there never was an official signing ceremony, and instead Thomas Jefferson just forged everyone’s signatures.

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A Profile of Mark Rutte

Mark Rutte

Fotograaf Nick van Ormondt

Recently I discovered that if you do a Google search for “Mark Rutte shirtless,” this web site is the first result.* I won’t tell you how I found this out, because it reveals far too much information about my personal life. But I will say that you don’t need to bother Googling “Mark Rutte in a tank top,” because it yields no satisfying results.

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Fan Fiction

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