Alex Tsipras

Prime Minister of Greece
by Kate

Alexis Tsipras

Tsipras is sometimes called the “Greek Che Guevara,” presumably because Che Guevara was also good-looking and eventually rose to become prime minister of Greece.

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras is the best thing to happen to Greece since the disgusting Greek yogurt fad. Not only is he handsome, he is also in favor of spending money with reckless abandon. So basically he has everything that I want in a man (except for a candy bar that he brought me as a surprise…and for all I know he has that too! Someone should check his pockets.)

Sworn in earlier today, Tsipras immediately rocketed to the Top 10 of our list of hottest world leaders, leaving a cloud of bewildered, less-attractive leaders in his wake. Pundits have speculated that his election could set off a chain of events that ends with the collapse of the Euro, but I am mostly OK with this, for the following reasons.

      • First, Everything has an opportunity cost, and if you ask me to pick between the Euro and Tsipras, before you even finish asking the question I will have interrupted you by shouting “Tsipras!” (or at least trying to say it).
      • Second, I bet if you staged a popularity contest between Tsipras and the Euro, Tsipras would win. I think this is basically the measure that was on the ballot in Greece, although I don’t know if that’s precisely how they worded it, since it was in Greek.
      • Third, I presume that if the Euro goes away, then the Euros that JD and I have buried in our yard in case Europe conquers the United States will become collector’s items and appreciate in value, kind of like Confederate dollars.

As a sidenote, Greece changes its prime minister entirely too often, which is annoying to those of us who are trying to (sort of) maintain an up-to-date list of the world’s hottest prime ministers. So let’s just keep this guy for a few years, or until Greece goes bankrupt and is absorbed into Albania.

Taavi Rõivas

Prime Minister of Estonia
by Kate

Taavi Roivas

There are a lot of perks to being prime minister of Estonia. One of them is this chair.

It’s not every day you come across a 35-year-old head of government, which—let’s face it—is probably a good thing for everyone involved. The last thing we need is a bunch of Millennial prime ministers posting selfies to Facebook while driving, or constantly complaining about their student loan debt. (more…)

Head of State Halloween Costumes

Still scrambling to come up with a Halloween costume that’s smart, sexy, and completely unrecognizable? Why not dress as a head of state! If nothing else, you’ll finally get to wear that suit you bought for job interviews.

But with over two hundred heads of state to choose from, how do you narrow it down to just one? Luckily for you, JD and I have nothing to do, so we’ve compiled this list of 13 Heads of State Who Would Make Great Halloween Costumes.

You can thank us by following us on Facebook or Twitter, or by thinking of us fondly.
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Bashar al-Assad

President of Syria
by JD and Kate

Choose Your Own Adventure

WARNING!!!


Do not read this blog post straight through from beginning to end. These web pages contain many different adventures you may have as Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. From time to time as you read along, you will be asked to make a choice. Your choice may lead to success or disaster! (more…)

José Mujica

President of Uruguay
by Kate

Jose Mujica in his kitchen

Uruguayan president José Mujica claims to have invented “shabby chic.” No one disputes this claim.

José Mujica has been dubbed “the world’s poorest president.” I’m no accountant, but I suspect part of his problem is that he donates 90% of his salary to charity. (In contrast, I spend 90% of my salary on building up my designer scrunchie collection. Scrunchies are poised to make a comeback, and this time, I AM GOING TO BE READY!!!!)

In addition to his show-offy charity donations, Mujica also refuses to move into the opulent Uruguayan presidential palace, and instead he lives in a shack. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not a RadioShack. It’s just a regular shack (though possibly with a radio inside).

I don’t know about you, but I am getting sick and tired of José Mujica making me feel bad about my selfishness and unbridled consumerism by living a life of austerity and generosity. So I’ve decided to turn things around and start following Mujica’s example. To that end, I have composed this list: (more…)

Felipe VI

King of Spain
by Kate

Felipe VI

Last month, King Juan Carlos I surprised the world* by announcing that he would abdicate in favor of his handsome and gigantically tall son, Felipe VI. (Though he did not actually mention his son’s handsomeness or giganticness in his announcement.)

At first everyone assumed that this was another one of the King’s hilarious pranks, like that time he pretended to invade Portugal.** But if it started out as a joke, it quickly became all too real, and on June 19, Felipe VI was crowned king of Spain. There wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd when Felipe donned the traditional Spanish Royal Crown, which is made entirely of bullhorns. (It used to be made out of bull’s horns, but after protests by animal-rights activists, it was replaced with a crown made out of bullhorns.)

As Juan Carlos no doubt realized, there are many ways that an aging monarch stands to benefit by retiring early: (more…)

The Hottest Signers of the Declaration of Independence

Signing of the Declaration of Independence

On July 4, 1776, fifty-six brave patriots gathered together in the boring city of Philadelphia to sign a document that later came to be known as the Declaration of Independence.* Now, 238 years later, some equally brave patriots (me and J.D.) are commemorating the occasion by ranking those signers in order of hotness.

Like our Founding Fathers before us, we also have a long list of grievances against the British government, but we will save that for another day. Our rulings are final, but feel free to complain in the comments section and be ignored.

Here is the list.

*Actually, they just approved the final wording on July 4. Historians believe there never was an official signing ceremony, and instead Thomas Jefferson just forged everyone’s signatures.

Mark Rutte

Prime Minister of The Netherlands
by Kate

Mark Rutte

Recently I discovered that if you do a Google search for “Mark Rutte shirtless,” this web site is the first result.* I won’t tell you how I found this out, because it reveals far too much information about my personal life. But I will say that you don’t need to bother Googling “Mark Rutte in a tank top,” because it yields no satisfying results.

Intrigued, I did some research and learned that in the past 5 years, 33 people have visited this site after Googling “Mark Rutte shirtless.”** No doubt they were hoping to find a treasure trove of shirtless Mark Rutte photos, only to have their hopes dashed when they discovered that this is just an incoherent and infrequently updated “humor” web site with no shirtless Mark Rutte photos whatsoever. I picture these 33 people hurling their laptops against the wall in a fit of Mark-Rutte-induced sexual frustration, resulting in them being asked to leave Starbucks.*** (more…)

Special Report: How to Improve Your Ranking on this Web Site

by Kate

Not a day goes by that we don’t get a phone call from some world leader wanting to know what he or she can do to improve their ranking on our totally arbitrary list of the hottest world leaders.

Since we simply don’t have time to field all of these phone calls, I have prepared this helpful guide entitled “How to Improve Your Ranking on HottestHeadsofState.com.”

Stephen Harper waits patiently on the phone

Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper listens patiently to our hold music.*

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