The Presidents of the United States: When They Were Young and Hunky

Young Theodore Roosevelt

Not a lot of people realize how attractive (almost) all of the U.S. presidents were when they were young. And I, for one, am tired of people not realizing this.

So for the sake of your history education, I submit to you photos of the U.S. presidents when they were young and hunky.

They are not ranked in order of hotness, because I couldn’t find a picture of every president in the same age range, and in a couple of cases I couldn’t find a youthful photo or portrait at all. In those instances I just substituted a a picture of Tommy Lee Jones or whoever. Enjoy!

Vladimir Putin

President of Russia
by Kate

Vladimir Putin

You’re in for a real treat today! And no, I don’t mean a cookie. Stop asking me for cookies all the time! The treat is that I just finished the first chapter of my much-anticipated Vladimir Putin fan fiction novel! It’s not a cookie, but it’s…well…that’s all I can think to say about it, actually.

Chapter 1: Meetin’ Putin

It has been three long months since you landed a job in the mailroom at the Kremlin (thanks Monster.com!), but something about it still makes you feel nervous and on edge.

Maybe it’s because you’re spending so many hours alone in the cavernous basement mailroom, sorting through stacks of mail as high as St. Basil’s Cathedral. (Well, like a 2-foot-tall replica of St. Basil’s Cathedral.)

Maybe it’s because you’re not always sure what’s going on, because you don’t speak any Russian.

Or maybe it’s because your breath gets caught in your throat like a prisoner in Siberia every time you catch a glimpse of your boss—Vladimir Putin.

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Cristina Fernández de Kirchner

President of Argentina
by Kate

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner

If you are not putting this much effort into your eye makeup, then you are failing as a woman. (Or you’re a man. In which case, congratulations!)

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner is the president of Argentina and the only head of state who knows how to properly apply eyeliner. (Here’s a tip: You put on a lot. I mean, a LOT. There. Now you look great! Like a sexy panda.)

But while her eyeliner somehow keeps looking better and better, in every other respect 2015 has not been a great year for the lovely Argentine president. Let’s take a moment to review all of the things that are going wrong for Cristina Fernández de Kirchner right now. (more…)

Alex Tsipras

Prime Minister of Greece
by Kate

Alexis Tsipras

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras is the best thing to happen to Greece since the disgusting Greek yogurt fad. Not only is he handsome, he is also in favor of spending money with reckless abandon. So basically he has everything that I want in a man (except for a candy bar that he brought me as a surprise…and for all I know he has that too! Someone should check his pockets.)

Sworn in earlier today, Tsipras immediately rocketed to the Top 10 of our list of hottest world leaders, leaving a cloud of bewildered, less-attractive leaders in his wake. Pundits have speculated that his election could set off a chain of events that ends with the collapse of the Euro, but I am mostly OK with this, for the following reasons.

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Taavi Rõivas

Prime Minister of Estonia
by Kate

Taavi Roivas

There are a lot of perks to being prime minister of Estonia. One of them is this chair.

It’s not every day you come across a 35-year-old head of government, which—let’s face it—is probably a good thing for everyone involved. The last thing we need is a bunch of Millennial prime ministers posting selfies to Facebook while driving, or constantly complaining about their student loan debt. (more…)

Head of State Halloween Costumes

Still scrambling to come up with a Halloween costume that’s smart, sexy, and completely unrecognizable? Why not dress as a head of state! If nothing else, you’ll finally get to wear that suit you bought for job interviews.

But with over two hundred heads of state to choose from, how do you narrow it down to just one? Luckily for you, JD and I have nothing to do, so we’ve compiled this list of 13 Heads of State Who Would Make Great Halloween Costumes.

You can thank us by following us on Facebook or Twitter, or by thinking of us fondly.
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Bashar al-Assad

President of Syria
by JD and Kate

Choose Your Own Adventure

WARNING!!!


Do not read this blog post straight through from beginning to end. These web pages contain many different adventures you may have as Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. From time to time as you read along, you will be asked to make a choice. Your choice may lead to success or disaster! (more…)

José Mujica

President of Uruguay
by Kate

Jose Mujica in his kitchen

Uruguayan president José Mujica claims to have invented “shabby chic.” No one disputes this claim.

José Mujica has been dubbed “the world’s poorest president.” I’m no accountant, but I suspect part of his problem is that he donates 90% of his salary to charity. (In contrast, I spend 90% of my salary on building up my designer scrunchie collection. Scrunchies are poised to make a comeback, and this time, I AM GOING TO BE READY!!!!)

In addition to his show-offy charity donations, Mujica also refuses to move into the opulent Uruguayan presidential palace, and instead he lives in a shack. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not a RadioShack. It’s just a regular shack (though possibly with a radio inside).

I don’t know about you, but I am getting sick and tired of José Mujica making me feel bad about my selfishness and unbridled consumerism by living a life of austerity and generosity. So I’ve decided to turn things around and start following Mujica’s example. To that end, I have composed this list: (more…)