Alexis Tsipras

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras is the best thing to happen to Greece since the disgusting Greek yogurt fad. Not only is he handsome, he is also in favor of spending money with reckless abandon. So basically he has everything that I want in a man, except for a candy bar that he brought me as a surprise. And for all I know, maybe he has that too! Someone should check his pockets.

Sworn in earlier today, Tsipras immediately rocketed to the Top 10 of our list of hottest world leaders, leaving a cloud of bewildered, less-attractive leaders in his wake. Pundits have speculated that his election could set off a chain of events that ends with the collapse of the Euro, but I am mostly OK with this, for the following reasons.

  • First, everything has an opportunity cost, and if you ask me to pick between the Euro and Tsipras, before you even finish asking the question I will have interrupted you by shouting “Tsipras!” (Or at least trying to say it).
  • Second, I bet if you staged a popularity contest between Tsipras and the Euro, Tsipras would win. I think this is basically the measure that was on the ballot in Greece, although I don’t know if that’s precisely how they worded it, since it was in Greek.
  • Third, I presume that if the Euro goes away, then the Euros that JD and I have buried in our yard in case Europe conquers the United States will become collector’s items and appreciate in value, kind of like Confederate dollars.

As a sidenote, Greece changes its prime minister entirely too often, which is annoying to those of us who are trying to (sort of) maintain an up-to-date list of the world’s hottest prime ministers. So let’s just keep this guy for a few years, or until Greece goes bankrupt and is absorbed into Albania.