Robert D. Ward / Wikimedia Commons
Stjepan “Stipe” Mesić was raised by wolves, so he learned the value of teamwork early.
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Ousted!
Cancillería Ecuador
Some people say to me, “Kate, I’ve noticed you often write about world leaders who you have a crush on. I am starting to suspect that this is part of a pathetic fantasy that these world leaders will somehow read what you wrote and be flattered and then run into you and ask you out on a date. Even though they’re married. And you’re married. And you have that unattractive limp.”
To these people, I say “Hey, do you happen to have Rafael Correa’s personal email address? If so, do you think you could send him a link to this website? Because that would really help me out.”
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Prime Minister of Norway
Kjetil Ree / Wikimedia Commons
I don’t know how observant you are, but I’m going to guess not very, based on the fact that so far no one has picked up on the subliminal messages I’ve been inserting into every EIKOOC A EM LIAM one EIKOOC A EM LIAM of my posts EIKOOC A EM LIAM.
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Emir of Qatar
senat.gov.pl
Getting into trouble while your parents are out of town is a rite of passage. I know I’ll never forget the time my family accidentally left me home alone at Christmas and I had to defend our house from burglars with a series ingenious booby traps made from everyday household items.
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Prime Minister of Canada
Remy Steinegger / World Economic Forum
Looking for: Very, very serious and intense relationship. Must like to cuddle.
Name: Stephen Harper
Age: 50
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Occupation: Prime Minister of Canada
Ever married? No…I’ve just never met the right girl!
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President of Portugal
Michał Koziczyński / Senat Rzeczypospolitej Polskiej
Throughout the day, he sleeps. Lovers walk hand-in-hand along the avenues, children eat ice cream that melts and drips on the sun-dappled sidewalks, and all the while he rests, inert, as though stone. But as the light fades and sidewalk cafes fill with evening diners, eating hot crusty bread washed down with sangria measured in milliliters, Portuguese President Aníbal Cavaco Silva awakens. His eyes open with an almost audible click and he rises at the waist like a sprung trap, instantly alert, thirsty for blood and ready for the duties of state.
U.S. State Department
The DRC is very hot right now. Well, actually it is not as hot as it normally is, since I’m writing this in July and it’s “winter” there. But it is normally very hot! It is also a “hot-bed” of violent insurrection (also a year-round, every-year occurrence)! And, of course, it has one of the hottest world leaders in Joseph Kabila. Are these things related? Probably.
At first glance, Kabila stands out among his African peers, because he doesn’t have scars on his face. Most African leaders have scars, because they macheted their way to power in the bush. Kabila, however, was born into power as a result of the violent and bloodthirsty work of his father. Sadly, Kabila’s father (also named Kabila, interestingly enough) died shortly after seizing power, due to complications associated with multiple machete wounds to the face. 🙁 But that leaves his son Joseph to rise to the top(ish) of our charts!
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