Did you know that our candles sales have accurately predicted the winner of every U.S. presidential election (and every Canadian federal election1) since 2016?
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Author: J.D.
Usually, you hate to see a bus drive off a cliff. But what if the bus is driving off a cliff because someone convinced the passengers that it was a good idea? Well, then at least you want to see that person where they belong: sitting in the front seat, as the bus tips over the edge and falls toward eternity.
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In the very first use of our Hotness Ranking Machine, we had it calculate the attractiveness of Slovakia’s newly elected president, Zuzana Čaputová. Continue Reading
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I haven’t asked her specifically, but I assume that one of the many things Kate loves about me is my insistence on making weird diorama-style candles with wax miniatures that no one buys. But I don’t want her to love me TOO much, so I need to narrow down my ideas. Can you help? Please tell us which of these candles you think we should conjure into existence. You’re smart and we’ll leave it up to you to figure out how to let us know.
(Actually, we’ll tell you one way you could let us know: Take out an ad in the Sunday New York Times. We subscribe to the New York Times so we will (probably) see your ad, if it is in close proximity to the crossword.)
Global Warming Candle
We want our candles to be funny, and nothing is as funny as global warming.
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