Today is the day. The day that you’ve been dreaming about for so long that you can’t believe it’s finally here. No—it’s not your wedding day! Or whatever, it might be your wedding day. But forget about that, because today is also the day that our first book, Hottest Heads of State, Volume 1: The American Presidents, is released to the buying public. (That’s you!)
Right now, you are probably paralyzed with excitement. And that’s OK! Here is a step-by-step guide to help make the next 24 hours just as fun and memorable as you hoped it would be.
1. First, call off your wedding. Your fiancé might not understand why this is necessary, so to make things easier, just tell him you don’t love him anymore.
2. Buy our book. If you already preordered it, then congratulations! All you need to do now is sit at home and wait for the mail to come. For once, planning ahead has paid off.
If you didn’t preorder our book, you will have to go to a bookstore. And if the bookstore doesn’t have it, you will have to start toppling over tables of books in an uncontrolled rage until they agree to order it for you. This day is turning out to be so much fun already!
3. Read our book. Or whatever. This one really isn’t necessary!
4. Write reviews of our book. Here are a few of the places you can share honest but favorable reviews of our book:
c. Tripadvisor (Just work it into your review of that Holiday Inn Express you stayed at last month!)
d. A sign erected in your front yard
e. In the sky (via skywriting. Or by shouting really loudly while on a plane.)
5. Throw a book release party. If you’ve never thrown a book release party for our book before, here are a few tips:
a. Invite all of the journalists and influential tastemakers you know. Are you friends with Beyoncé? We think Beyoncé would really enjoy our book, if she knew about it!
b. Serve presidential-themed food and drinks. Our book even includes recipes for how to make some of the presidents’ favorite dishes, such as “Bowl of Jelly Beans.” And here’s a fun idea: Instead of paper plates, why not serve food on top of copies of our book?
c. Ask everyone to dress as Dwight D. Eisenhower. You want this party to be classy, and one way to guarantee that is to ask everyone to arrive dressed as Dwight D. Eisenhower. Bonus points to anyone who shaves their head! Anyone who doesn’t shave their head should be turned away at the door.
And there it is! We hope your book-release day is just as magical and joyful as ours is, which we plan to spend sitting at home counting our money.