If, like me, you have a website in ranking all world leaders in order of hotness, then you’ll be excited to learn that the country of Benin has a hot new president. (Well, “new.” He’s been in office for like a year. It’s not easy to keep websites ranking all world leaders in order of hotness up to date, as you of all people would understand.)
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It feels like only yesterday that David Cameron was the prime minister of the UK, Britain was part of the EU, and JD had not yet forgotten to take our trash down to the curb.
U.S. State Department[/caption]
NOTE: As part of our ongoing effort to monetize this web site so we can quit our jobs and travel around the country solving mysteries, we are thrilled to offer an exciting new way for heads of state and government to improve their reputations by generating positive buzz online.
Thanks to everyone who voted in our election for the Hottest Head of State (or government) of the Internet. I hope you all made little “I voted” stickers and wore them around, because that’s a fun way to make your friends and coworkers feel confused and ashamed.
THE WINNER: Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck
(61%)
With over 690 votes (691 votes, to be exact), the King of Bhutan is officially the most attractive world leader in the world. (At least in as far as anything on this web site is “official.”)
Just in time for Halloween, we asked some of our favorite world leaders what they are most afraid of. We received some great responses (in our imaginations), so settle in with a blanket, a bowl of candy apples, and another bowl of even more candy apples while you read these spine-tingling tales of head-of-state horror.
In what will definitely be the most important election to take place in all of 2015, this is your chance to vote for who gets the title of HOTTEST HEAD OF STATE (or government) IN THE WORLD.
You can probably sense what a tremendous responsibility this is by the way I am using all of this unnecessary boldface. I am trusting you to put aside your nationalist sentiments (I’m talking to you, creepily loyal citizens of Bhutan!) and cast your vote based on an impartial evaluation of the hotness of each nominee.
The poll will remain open until 11:59 pm (EST) on Tuesday, November 3. After that, we’ll stop accepting votes and update the list according to the results. Here are the candidates:
Jigme Khesar Wangchuck, King of Bhutan
A few points to consider:
• His official title is “Dragon King.” Hot!
• Last year he landed a spot on Vanity Fair’s International Best Dressed List. You have to admit, he does have a pretty sweet yellow scarf.
• Bhutan is consistently ranked one of the happiest countries in the world. I don’t know if you should count this for or against him though. Depends on how bitter and you are.
Enrique Peña Nieto, President of Mexico
• I think that, if we are being honest with ourselves, the President of Mexico has the most classically handsome features of all of the nominees.
• On the other hand, when he smiles it is terrifying.
• On the other hand, maybe you’re into that!
Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada
• Perhaps you, like me, are tired of everyone in Canada being mad at me.
• Personally, there is nothing I find more attractive than an extremely attractive man holding a baby. And for some reason, Justin Trudeau is always holding babies.
• Finally, there’s this.
Now here is the part where you get to vote! You can also campaign for your favorite candidate by sharing this poll with your friends. (I’m assuming that your friends are pretty easy to boss around.)
President of France
Have you noticed how sad François Hollande has looked ever since he and his live-in girlfriend broke up?
Hey, I know—let’s set him up with someone!