President of Botswana
If you are looking for an eligible bachelor who also happens to be the president of Botswana, then look no further than Ian Khama, the president of Botswana.
Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras is the best thing to happen to Greece since the disgusting Greek yogurt fad. Not only is he handsome, he is also in favor of spending money with reckless abandon. So basically he has everything that I want in a man, except for a candy bar that he brought me as a surprise. And for all I know, maybe he has that too! Someone should check his pockets.
It’s not every day you come across a 35-year-old head of government, which—let’s face it—is probably a good thing for everyone involved. The last thing we need is a bunch of Millennial prime ministers posting selfies to Facebook while driving, or constantly complaining about their student loan debt.
José Mujica has been dubbed “the world’s poorest president.” I’m no accountant, but I suspect part of his problem is that he donates 90% of his salary to charity. (I don’t know about you, but I spend 90% of my salary on building up my designer scrunchie collection. Scrunchies are poised to make a comeback, and this time, I am going to be ready!)
Recently I discovered that if you do a Google search for “Mark Rutte shirtless,” this web site is the first result.* I won’t tell you how I found this out, because it reveals far too much information about my personal life. But I will say that you don’t need to bother Googling “Mark Rutte in a tank top,” because it yields no satisfying results.
First, I want to take a moment to congratulate Helle Thorning-Schmidt on being so hot. Bravo to her—and to the wise people of Denmark who convinced her to abandon her successful career as a Land’s End catalog model and take up residence in Denmark’s prime ministerial mead hall.