Fotograaf Nick van Ormondt
Recently I discovered that if you do a Google search for “Mark Rutte shirtless,” this web site is the first result.* I won’t tell you how I found this out, because it reveals far too much information about my personal life. But I will say that you don’t need to bother Googling “Mark Rutte in a tank top,” because it yields no satisfying results.
Not a day goes by that we don’t get a phone call from some world leader wanting to know what he or she can do to improve their ranking on our totally arbitrary list of the hottest world leaders.
Since we simply don’t have time to field all of these phone calls, I have prepared this helpful guide entitled “How to Improve Your Ranking on HottestHeadsofState.com.”
Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper listens patiently to our hold music.*
Håkan Dahlström / flickr.com
First, I want to take a moment to congratulate Helle Thorning-Schmidt on being so hot. Bravo to her—and to the wise people of Denmark who convinced her to abandon her successful career as a Land’s End catalog model and take up residence in Denmark’s prime ministerial mead hall.
USAID
As a special treat, I’d like to share with you an excerpt from the Hamid Karzai fan fiction I’ve been writing. It’s still a work-in-progress, so go easy on me!
It is a hot and muggy evening. (Author’s note: By “muggy,” I mean both that it is humid and also that it is filled with muggers.)
PresidenciaMX 2012-2018 / Wikimedia Commons
You probably didn’t notice, but we’ve spent the last several years neglecting this website in favor of other pursuits. For one thing, we had a couple of kids, so you can now look forward to our upcoming web site on which we rank our children in order of attractiveness.
More importantly though, we finally achieved the American dream of building a fake Mexican town in our basement.
Ηράκλειο / flickr.com
When an election takes place during a time of crisis, the primary concern of voters isn’t always hotness.* For example, polls indicate that if the US presidential election were being held tomorrow, a junk shot wearing an American flag pin would win. Sure, a giant mass of shredded tires and golf balls might not be the hottest candidate, but for some reason Americans are really worried about oil spills right now.
brentolson / flickr.com
One question we get a lot is “Is your website a dating service?”
The answer, of course, is yes. Obviously.
