Hottest Heads of State

A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness.

Which U.S. President is Your Perfect Boyfriend?

Which US President is your Perfect Boyfriend

Our Valentine’s Day gift to you is a flowchart that will tell you which U.S. president you should date.

When you’re done reading it, you can print it out on six or seven pieces of paper, then tape the paper together and roll it up like a scroll. Then you can put it in your scroll bag and carry it around with you, along with all of your other scrolls!

As a final note, this took me forever to make. If you enjoy it, it seems like the least you could do is buy four or five copies of our book.

Click here to view the complete flowchart.

Comments Off on Which U.S. President is Your Perfect Boyfriend?

John Tyler Swamp Monster Fan Fiction

John Tyler, president and swamp monster

It’s Halloween, and you know what that means—it’s time to eat a meal of Halloween candy while you read some spooky but arousing fan fiction about former U.S. president and swamp monster John Tyler! (If you were not aware that President Tyler was an ancient swamp monster, then you have not read our book and you are dead to us.) Enjoy! 

Continue Reading

Comments Off on John Tyler Swamp Monster Fan Fiction

How to Launder Money (by buying rare and valuable candles)

Diagram showing how to launder money

For the most part, we cannot predict the future. And yet, we predict that over the next year or two, we’ll be reading a lot in the news about money laundering. Specifically, how foreign oligarchs use expensive real estate purchases in the U.S. to launder their money. This widespread practice is deeply corrosive…to our profits! You see, oligarchs could be laundering money just as easily with expensive candle purchases. If you happen to be an oligarch googling for money laundering tips, here’s an easy step-by-step guide.

Continue Reading

1 Comment on How to Launder Money (by buying rare and valuable candles)

Hottest Heads of State Explains: NATO

NATO

You might have heard that President Trump is attending a neato summit in Brussels this week. And you probably thought to yourself, “I’m relieved he’s thousands of miles away. But how come he gets to attend a neato summit?” Well, the answer is that it’s actually a NATO summit. And, if you have a very specific set of questions about NATO, we have answers.

Continue Reading

2 Comments on Hottest Heads of State Explains: NATO

JD and Kate Visit the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum

Even though we’ve finished writing our book, can we still deduct the cost of visiting presidential museums from our taxes? There’s only one way to find out!

The Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum

The Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum

Independence, MO
Adults: $8 | Children (age 6-15): $3 | Children (5 and under): Free

Kate: I have never been more sleepy than on the day we visited the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum in Independence, MO.

JD: Same. Sometimes, I get an idea in the middle of the night and write it down, but in the morning it makes no sense. That is what my notes from this visit are like. “How does this lettering get eroded.” “Black out parts of a love letter.” OK, JD, whatever you say!

Continue Reading

3 Comments on JD and Kate Visit the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum

Hottest Heads of State Explains: Missouri Governor Eric Greitens

You probably think you don’t know anyone from Missouri. Well, check it out: I’m from Missouri! And I’m guessing there are two things you want to know about my home state: Where it is, and what the deal is with our governor.

As to the location of Missouri, it is a secret. But as to our governor, please allow me to answer your hypothetical questions. And a warning: like everything in the Show-Me State, this gets a little racy!

Continue Reading

1 Comment on Hottest Heads of State Explains: Missouri Governor Eric Greitens
Fan Fiction

Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 6

Fan Fiction

Justin Trudeau Fan Fiction, Ch. 5

Special Report

Who Will Win the Candle Primary?